Beating Exhaustion and Burnout by Finding Balance with Carrie De Francisco

Ever wondered what the real difference is between "homeschooling" and "home education," and why making that distinction could completely transform your family's learning experience? In this inspiring episode of the Show Me Homeschool Podcast, Erin sits down with Carrie De Francisco—author, podcaster, coach, and seasoned homeschool mom—to dive deep into simplifying home education. Together, they tackle the exhaustion and overwhelm that many parents face, unpacking practical steps to shift from a rigid school-at-home mentality to embracing a more flexible, life-giving approach to learning.

Throughout the conversation, Carrie De Francisco shares insights from her latest book, including her nine essential questions for a meaningful day, honest advice about educational gaps, and ways to tailor learning to fit your unique family. Whether you're new to homeschooling, feeling stuck, or just searching for encouragement to keep going, this episode is packed with wisdom, grace, and actionable strategies. Show Me Homeschool is your go-to resource for guidance and fresh perspective—reminding you that you are not alone, and that a fulfilling, connected home education is within reach.

RESOURCES AND LINKS

Books by Carrie De Francisco

• Just Breathe and Take a Sip of Coffee: Homeschool Simply and Enjoyably
• Homeschool High School: A Handbook for Christian Education
• A Home Education Handbook (New book, released January 31st)

Podcast: Coffee with Carrie Homeschool Podcast, find it wherever you listen to podcasts. New episodes drop every Thursday.

Website: Coffee With Carrie, coffeewithcarrie.org

Social Media

• Instagram:
  @coffeewithcarrieconsulting
• TikTok:
  Find her “Cook and Chat” reels, where Carrie De Francisco answers homeschool questions while cooking.

Carrie De Francisco is also a contributor to the Wild + Free homeschool community.

Connect with Erin & Joe at Show Me Homeschool:

• Show Me Homeschool Website
• On Instagram, @show.me.homeschool
• On X, @ShowMeHomeSch
• On Pinterest, @showmehomeschool

Be sure to leave a rating and review, and subscribe so you never miss an episode! For questions or comments email us: info@showmehomeschool.com

Transcript

Erin [00:00:08]:
Welcome back to the Show Me Homeschool Podcast. I'm your host, Erin and today I have a lovely guest with me, Carrie DeFrancisco. She is an author, podcaster, homeschool coach, and a retired home educator who blends faith, simplicity and joy to guide moms and educating their children. She loves offering moms practical ways to simplify their homeschooling through her Coffee with Carrie homeschool podcast, tik tok, cook and chat reels, blog books, morning time plans, and one on one personalized coaching. As an out of the box thinker, she embraces out of the curriculum box homeschooling. Carrie is also a wild and free contributor and the author of Just Breathe and Take a Sip of Coffee. Homeschool. Simply and enjoyably in Homeschool High School, A handbook for Christian education.

Erin [00:00:54]:
Originally from New Orleans, Louisiana, Carrie now lives and enjoys doing life in Southern California with her husband, two adult kids, daughter in law and very introverted dog. So welcome back, Carrie. Actually, we've, we've had you on before. I will link that podcast as well in our notes. But welcome.

Carrie De Francisco [00:01:11]:
Thank you. It's so good to be here. And mamas, get me a natural today.

Erin [00:01:18]:
Oh yes. So this is our first podcast episode where we are doing video and I was a horrible host and did not communicate cape so well to carry that. That was the surprise she was in for. But Carrie, being the woman that she is, is just so laid back and go with the flow and game for anything. So Carrie, I love that you have written another book. I have your other two books. Well, two of your books, they're just fantastic. Anytime I do any kind of workshop on homeschooling high school, it's the top thing that I recommend for homeschool moms to check out.

Erin [00:01:52]:
And I bring it with me and I'm like, look at this book.

Carrie De Francisco [00:01:54]:
It's amazing.

Erin [00:01:55]:
So I'm super excited about your home education handbook. As a retired home educator and homeschooling coach, what inspired you to write this book?

Carrie De Francisco [00:02:07]:
Pure exhaustion. Even though I'm a retired homeschooling mom, like you said, I still, I meet with homeschooling moms who are either coming home because they want to start homeschooling or they've been homeschooling for a while and they're in the trenches. And like you said, my favorite is helping moms stay homeschooling so they can homeschool the high school years. But meeting with the moms, I realized that, yeah, there's nothing new under the sun. They're just as exhausted as I was when I was in the trenches. And even though I homeschooled 20 plus years a while ago, I mean, the Internet was just a thing. Social media wasn't even like a thing yet. And so, like, I got my mentorship from one on one personal relationships with the moms in our homeschool group.

Carrie De Francisco [00:03:02]:
And it was just so important to have those mentor moms that I could go to either in a phone call or at park day and be like, oh my gosh, this is what's happening. And they would just look at me and say, honey, just breathe. It's going to be fine. This too, before you know it, they're going to be grown and out of the house and, you know, so enjoy this time. But I realized when I was talking to the moms, they didn't really have that they. Because there's so much happening, so much busyness, it's a blessing nowadays for homeschooling to have so many opportunities and so many outside classes and so many things that they can do in hybrid schools and all that kind of stuff. But because of all the busyness, there's. It's odd.

Carrie De Francisco [00:03:53]:
It's kind of what social media has done. We're so busy and we're so connected that we're not really connected anymore. And I just felt like they're so exhausted and I was exhausted and when I was homeschooling and I just wanted to share in this book how to get off of the Hamster wheel.

Erin [00:04:17]:
Right.

Carrie De Francisco [00:04:18]:
And to look at. It's not really homeschooling, it's home education and just all the things that. All the beauty that comes with that.

Erin [00:04:28]:
Yeah.

Carrie De Francisco [00:04:28]:
And yeah, so that was pretty much it. I wanted to. To show the moms you do not have to be exhausted and you can get off the hamster wheel and. And really enjoy the choice that you made in the calling that God gave you to homeschool. Yeah.

Erin [00:04:43]:
I love that you are trying to get encompassing, not just the new homeschool mom, but the one that's been doing this for a long time. And I feel like a lot of materials. And that's kind of the catalyst of even how my podcast started, was seeing how many things are flooding the market just for that one mom who is deciding today to pull her kid where it's like, I've been here and I really could use that bit of encouragement too. So you made an important distinction in your answer to that question. What's the difference between home education and homeschooling? And why did you choose home education in the title of this book?

Carrie De Francisco [00:05:20]:
I love that question. And it was something that I really prayed a lot over and my friend who was helping me kind of come up with the title and she knows my heart and she just kept saying, but Carrie, you tell me all the time the best way to really enjoy the process is to take the word school out of homeschooling and replace it with the word education. And so that's why I did it. Because for the moms who are coming home who have decided that they, they want to educate their kids at home, they're doing it for various reasons, just like in the old days, right? But sometimes it's because there's things happening in the classroom that they just don't want their kids involved in or they just know that the traditional setting is not going to work for their kid, right? So they know that the traditional system isn't going to work for their kid, but they are so overwhelmed with I can't do this that they don't know where to begin. And so they just do school at home. And then there's us who have been doing it a while and like you, we get to the point where we're exhausted. And I have found in my own experience, the times that I was burning out and I was self doubting and self guessing and about to call the school district and enroll my kids in school because, you know, I just didn't think I could do it anymore was when we were doing school at home instead of just enjoying that education happens everywhere. And so when I finally got out of that mindset, that kind of answers the question to the first one too about why I wrote this book.

Carrie De Francisco [00:07:02]:
I wanted to help moms change their minds. Mindset from if you do school at home, okay, that's fine, that might work for you, that might work for your child's learning style. However, you're going to miss out on the beauty and the flexibility and the freedom if you change your mindset to home education. Because when you look at it that way, everything is a learning opportunity. And so therefore you don't feel like you're behind, you don't feel like you're on a hamster wheel. You can look at your day and realize, wow, we really did a lot, we really learned a lot. And some of it might be academics, some of it might be soft skills, but all of it is education. And when you change that mindset, you don't burn out and you don't feel like you're constantly behind or that you're not doing it the right way.

Erin [00:07:55]:
Yeah, I completely agree. I think that when those times where I have particularly felt burnt out and I look at my calendar, it was full of good things. And it was also full of me trying to get through lessons that not saying we don't do school work, we don't work at the education, but when the fun stops because I'm too concerned about how many lessons we got done in a week. And the goal can't be the tool, it has to be. Why? So you often refer to yourself as the out of the curriculum box, and that kind of ties into what we're discussing here with how do you get out of that box where the curriculum is ruling your day? And how do you address this in your. Your newest book?

Carrie De Francisco [00:08:45]:
Well, I'm going to bring that back to you because when you were on my podcast, Coffee with Carrie, we actually talked about what you actually need to homeschool, and you told us there were only three or four things that you actually need. And so when you look at it that way, that you really just need your Bible, you need a library card, you need the great outdoors. That's pretty much all you need. And then once they get older, maybe the Internet for research and whatnot. But. So I was an out of the box curriculum. What I mean by that is that I didn't at first, I allowed my teacher guides to be my master, my slave master. And I was a slave to them and I didn't use them as guides.

Carrie De Francisco [00:09:37]:
And that's what they're for. They're there to guide us, to give us ideas, but not to dictate every little thing that we do. And so when I finally realized that, no, I could just use this as okay, in math. These are the skills we got to get through this year, or we should get through this year, according to some expert, we're supposed to get through this year, but I don't have to do it that way in that order, you know, for 50 minutes a day and until everyone's crying and rolling around on the floor. Yeah. So, yes, there are some students that learn best through textbooks. There are some moms who love to have the grab and go and script, you know, teacher guides. But you really don't need that for kids to learn.

Carrie De Francisco [00:10:25]:
The Lord created us to learn. And if we, I often say this. The best advice I ever got was to get out of my kid's way. And when I got out of their way, oh my gosh, the things that they were learning. Now, were they the things that Are quote unquote, California standards said they were supposed to learn in fourth grade. Usually not. But were they important skills and important knowledge for them to have? Yes. Were they excited about learning?

Erin [00:10:54]:
Yes.

Carrie De Francisco [00:10:54]:
Did they want to continue to learn and learn more? Yes. And so it was, it was hard for me because I'm a to do list kind of a person to get out of a curriculum boxer, to get out of the scope and sequence. But once I did, then again, that's what the whole book is about. It was. It. I realized I could look around and see, oh my gosh, my kids are learning so much in science and we did so much math today, even though we may not have done 20 problems on a, on a math page. And you know, wow, we had some great biblical discussions and yeah, so definitely I, I evolved from doing school at home very traditionally through the gamut. So yeah.

Erin [00:11:44]:
Yeah, I love it. So how, how would you ask a mom to consider getting outside of that box? Because like you mentioned, there are all kinds of options out there that maybe weren't when we first started, you know, the hybrid options, the academic focused co ops, where before it seemed like we weren't gathering over a particular curriculum or methodology of education, we were really connecting over, you know, theater or any kind of extracurricular thing. So now that that focus in some communities has shifted to gathering for the academic purposes. How, how can that mom get out of the box when co op is requiring their child to do X number of lessons at home? What would you say to that mom who's just like, I'm always behind, I'm, I'm never catching up. I'm just not doing enough for my kid.

Carrie De Francisco [00:12:35]:
Yeah. And that. I hear that all the time. And so first it, the mom needs to kind of step back and pray and, and talk to her husband and not kids yet, but really assess why are we in this co op in the first place? Right. So if they're doing that particular hybrid or co op or academic learning center, because they're Charlotte Mason, and that is a Charlotte Mason, you know, co op. And they want the accountability for that and they want the help with that, by all means, keep doing it. And then we'll talk in a second about what to do when you're home on those other days. But if your reason for doing a hybrid or a co op or something like that is more for the relationships and the social aspect and you having an opportunity to either one, drop them off because you have to work, or it's not a drop off, it's you to go and actually, like, have a dull conversation with other moms.

Carrie De Francisco [00:13:36]:
If that's your reason for it, then maybe step aside from it. And because you can get those things, like you said in those other touch points, musical theater, karate, baseball, you know what, whatever. Park days with your community, right? So that's the first thing is to really kind of assess, step back and think, why are we in this in the first place? What goals are we trying to meet to be here? And do we really need to be there to meet those goals? And the answer might be yes. The answer might be no. But if. Then the other thing to do is if you want to start to move away from being a slave to your guide and doing more out of the curriculum box thing is just pick one subject. Just start small, right? So do that one thing and do it well. So, like, for instance, the way I started was at the beginning of each year when I was planning what we were going to do that year, I would ask my kids, what do you want to learn this year? What do you want to learn in science? That was where I started with science.

Carrie De Francisco [00:14:38]:
I was like, what do you want to learn? And whatever they told me, that's what we learned at science. We didn't take a class for it. You know, we didn't. I didn't enroll them in a. And a science, whatever. We just did kind of unit studies, or we would go on great field trips, or I would find friends who wanted to learn the same thing. And I did it piece by piece, subject by subject, until I realized, oh, this is a lot more freeing for one. It's a lot more fun also.

Carrie De Francisco [00:15:10]:
And it freed up our schedule so that we could. We could do those things. So if you want to get out of the curriculum box, just do it, you know, a step at a time. And also, keep in mind, I had a great interview with Amy Hughes. You don't have to be a purist, Danny.

Erin [00:15:28]:
Thank you.

Carrie De Francisco [00:15:29]:
I mean, if you love Charlotte Mason, you can be a purist and you could do all the fabulous things you can find online and all that kind of stuff to do everything Charlotte Mason. Or you could just be Charlotte Mason inspired, right? Or classical. You could be 100% purest classical and do classical conversations and whatever, you know, hybrid.

Erin [00:15:50]:
That's classical.

Carrie De Francisco [00:15:52]:
Or you could just be classical inspired and just kind of infuse it. So it's kind of funny when people used to ask me what kind of homeschooler I was, I would tell them, well, I'm a Charlotte Mason. Classical unit. Study eclectic Unschooler. It's like, you know, and they're like, you have multiple personalities. I mean. Yes, it is.

Erin [00:16:15]:
Yes. Yes, I do.

Carrie De Francisco [00:16:17]:
So. Yeah.

Erin [00:16:17]:
Well, and that hits on a good point, too, that just because the mom might really lean toward a specific type of style of learning, that doesn't mean her kids all do. And so when we're addressing that, and I think it's important to point out, too, that to say that maybe mom needs to reevaluate what is or isn't working like. Like you're talking about doing in your book and asking those nine questions, it's not to shame the mom or make her feel bad for the choices that she's made. It's really to help her hone into how is the decision to home educate my children blessing our. Our family and reevaluating those things through a different lens, rather than the lens of what curriculum you're using or what method you choose? Because that's a secondary issue to the decision. So one thing that you addressed in your other book, homeschooling through high or homeschool high school, is the idea that there's going to be holes or gaps in the education. So how do you take that idea or concern or fear and address that in your newest book?

Carrie De Francisco [00:17:19]:
Yeah, well, I just give mamas the hard, cold truth. There's gonna be gaps in their education.

Erin [00:17:26]:
So.

Carrie De Francisco [00:17:27]:
But whether they do traditional school like I did, I'm a product of, you know, the public school or they homeschool. You're gonna have holes. You're gonna have gaps in your education. I say this all the time, and I probably said it the last time we were talking, but I didn't realize just how dumb I was until I started homeschooling. That was when I realized, oh, my gosh, the things I didn't learn in history. And it probably wasn't the teacher's fault or the curriculum's fault. It may have been my fault because I wasn't paying attention. And the holes in my math literacy and, you know, the scientific things that I didn't know.

Carrie De Francisco [00:18:12]:
And actually, in all honesty, the things I learned in science as a kid, it's now not true anymore, right. As an adult. So, anyway, I digress on that one. But there's gonna be gaps. There's no way. If your goal is to teach your teen anything and everything he needs to, you think he needs to know before he graduates and either goes off to college or goes into the workforce or starts his own family, you're gonna fail because it is an unrealistic expectation to teach your kid everything they need to learn. And so that's why in the book I talk about it in the high school book and in the new book I talk about really what you want your kids, the knowledge you want them to have by the time they graduate is can they learn, teach them how to learn something so when they do get a new job or they start something, a new class in college, or like in my son's case, an EMT course, um, they can, they know how to teach themselves something new. Right.

Carrie De Francisco [00:19:13]:
When I was in high school, podcasting wasn't a thing. There were no such thing as apps, web, there was no web, there was no Internet. So there was no such thing as computer, you know, design of website. The computer sciences was just coming up, right? And this is all the things I do now. So I literally, as a 50 something year old woman, had to teach myself these new skills, right? So you want to make sure that your kids know how to teach themselves and how to learn. You want to make sure that you don't squish their curiosity so much that they hate learning. You want them to love learning, so they want to continue it in whatever form that may look like. You want them to be problem solvers and critical thinkers for obvious reasons, right? And you want to plant those seeds of faith in Jesus Christ, so because they'll be good people and, and followers of Christ.

Carrie De Francisco [00:20:09]:
And so if you teach your kids those skills, then no matter what they decide to do when they graduate or when you ask them that question, what do you want to do when you graduate? And they say, I don't know, it's still okay because you've taught them the important skills that they will need to get through, you know, the rest of your life. And so there, there's, there's going to be gaps. So what do you pick? You pick the things that you think are important for either their goals in order to graduate or the things that are important to you and your family. Right. And you know, whatever your state standards are for graduation, you just want to make sure you hit those as well. But yeah, there's going to be gaps. But the fun in being an adult is not the bills, it's the continuing to learn. And I loved learning alongside my kids.

Carrie De Francisco [00:21:05]:
So all those things that I didn't know or didn't remember, I just had so much fun either relearning it or learning it for the first time alongside my kids.

Erin [00:21:15]:
And that's, that's like the beauty of everything that you're saying, and I feel like that's a great segue into my next question about those nine questions that mom's asking at the end of each day. Would you mind walking through the questions in the book? Sure.

Carrie De Francisco [00:21:31]:
And actually, the reason I came up with the the questions is because, like I said, I am a to do list queen, type A to the max. And so I actually valued our day and our accomplishments based on how much I checked off my personal to do list and our academic to do list. And it never failed, especially when we were doing school at home and not home education. I would look at that list at the end of the day and even though there might be quite a few things checked off, what did I focus on? The things that were not checked off. And then I would feel like a failure. And then I would say, oh, well, then we didn't get to this math lesson. We didn't do this science experiment, so now we're going to do that tomorrow, plus all the other things I wanted to do. And so I just constantly felt like we were behind.

Carrie De Francisco [00:22:18]:
There were tons of gaps, we weren't getting anything done, my kids weren't learning anything, you know, that catastrophizing thought process. And so I changed my to do list to questions that I would ask myself at the end of the day. And so they were questions that I thought that if we did these things every day as a family or individually, or at least, you know, during the week, I mean, it's one of those seasons. If we can do all of these things in a week, it's going to be a beautiful education. And so the first question is, today, did we worship? So did we worship sometime today? And worship can take many forms. It doesn't have to be a formal Bible curriculum. Okay? And in the book I tell each chapter, I talk about all the different ways you could look at or how you can answer that question today. Worship.

Carrie De Francisco [00:23:12]:
Another question to ask yourself is today, do we read? Do we read anything? Do we read the family? Did they read it Dependently, did they read directions? I mean, again, there are so many ways you can answer that question today that we read. It doesn't have to be a formal reading lesson or 30 minutes of sitting down and reading together as a family. Although that would be beautiful, but it's not always beautiful, let's be honest. Okay, Another question is today, did we write Again, did we write anything? So that could be a formal, you know, five point essay for high schoolers or a paragraph for a middle school or whatever. It just could be Copy work. It could be a thank you note, whatever. Today, do we write something? If you can say yes, it was a pretty good day. Today, do we problem solve? So notice I didn't say, did we do math? Do we problem solve sometime today? And again, that could take on a whole bunch of stuff.

Carrie De Francisco [00:24:08]:
It could be a math page, but it could be a strategy game. It could be sibling conflict resolution. It could be all kinds of things. Right? Okay. Today, do we create? So was there an opportunity in our day for us to be creative? So we were created in the image of God, and God is the ultimate creator. We were born to create. That's what we want to do. And so, again, don't limit yourself to, well, we didn't do art today or I'm not an arts and crafts mom, so I'm never going to answer yes to that.

Carrie De Francisco [00:24:39]:
Create is anything. It's using our imagination. It's creating something in the kitchen. It could be creating mud pies outside. Whatever. Right. Again, I go through all the different ways you could look at that one. Today, did we move? And I really talk a lot in the book about how important quote, unquote, physical education is.

Carrie De Francisco [00:25:01]:
It's not an extra thing. It's not like a set of skills. Your kids need that physical movement just as much as they need the mental stimulation and the spiritual formation. Because the exercise, the movement actually helps them learn better. So they're, They're. God was awesome when he created us to learn this way. So I talk about today. Did we move? Did we get outside? And I have a kid who's adhd, so I was always able to say yes.

Carrie De Francisco [00:25:30]:
Double check on that one.

Erin [00:25:31]:
Easy check mark.

Carrie De Francisco [00:25:32]:
Easy check mark. Let's see. Today, did we. Today, did we explore nature? So again, the importance of getting outside the house, getting off the screens, whether it's alone as a family, with a group, whatever. I talk a lot about that. Today, did we care for our home and each other? And for me, I feel like a lot of moms when they get stuck in this mindset of school. At home, their triangle is lopsided and the majority of their day is doing academic formal lessons with a little bit left over to get the chores done and the cooking done and the laundry done and the errands done and picking up the vomit that the dog just all over the floor and the flat tire and the, you know, actually the triangle should be the other way around, where the majority of our day is doing those things, those life skills with, you know, a nice little part of your day. 1 2, 3 hours, depending on the age of your kids and how you school is the.

Carrie De Francisco [00:26:35]:
The formal academic stuff. So today do we care for our home and for each other, and that's where the relationships come in. And again, easy check on that, because there's always things to do and skills to teach our kids. And then for me, the most important one, besides, that's why I bookend today that we worship is the first one. My last one was today to be rest. Because it's very important that each day we set time aside for not just you, the mom, but the kids to have quiet time, whether that's a nap or that's just reading silently in their room or listening to a book or, you know, whatever brings them this Shabbat feeling where they're delighting in rest. Because again, I talk about it in my book, how important it is for kids to marinate in the things that they're learning and for teens to have this free time to explore their passions and gifts. And they can't do that if we're constantly on the hamster wheel going from one thing to the next.

Carrie De Francisco [00:27:35]:
So if you're able to say yes to each of those questions at the end of each day, no matter what it looks like and how long you did those activities, even if it was just five minutes, it was a really beautiful day. Yeah.

Erin [00:27:49]:
I love how you've applied this concept in all of these areas to homeschool. But if we're being real, if I just, as a mom, as a woman, child of God, applied those questions to my own daily life, I think that's really where we're seeing the fruit of these things. Because if mom isn't rested, if mom isn't creating, if mom isn't taking time to worship, then it doesn't matter what our intentions are with our children. It's got to be modeled. And I mean, wow, I am excited about this book, Carrie. I just. It's so needed right now, especially in this culture of busy that just doesn't seem to ever want to slow down. Being intentional and rest in and of itself could be a whole, whole book, a whole podcast, a whole everything.

Erin [00:28:34]:
Just because if you are not able to stop and be grateful and thankful and, you know, everything else in its place is not going to fall. So when you're talking about all of these concepts, you say something about what is a good enough day. So can you explain what a good enough day is to the mom who is frazzled and wants to read your book and is just like, I don't have time to do anything, let alone read a book. What is a good enough day for me to feel accomplished in my homeschool?

Carrie De Francisco [00:29:03]:
I love it. Yes. What is a good enough day? Two things I tell moms. If sometime in your day you read from the good book, which is the Bible, and you read from a good book, that could be a classic, a chapter book, a picture book, whatever, it was a good enough day because of all the things that come with reading God's word and reading together as a family. The conversations, the. The connections, the. The lessons that we learn. And just keep in mind, there's always tomorrow.

Carrie De Francisco [00:29:37]:
God's grace and mercies are new every day. And so there really is. There's tomorrow, and then if you need to, there's always next week or, okay, it's one of those seasons. Maybe you're taking care of mom or you just brought home a newborn or finances are crazy and you're having to work an awful lot more than usual. There's always next season. There's always next year. I can't tell you how many Sabbath years we took. I talk about that in my first book.

Carrie De Francisco [00:30:06]:
Just breathe. The Lord will provide. He'll fill in the gaps. That's why my. My homeschool life verse was Isaiah 54:13, which is, all your children will be taught by the Lord, and great shall be their peace. So I just knew a good enough day was that if we got into his Word, we read something beautiful together as a family, the Lord would ultimately bless that and there would be fruit.

Erin [00:30:36]:
That is such a great reminder. Yeah. I was just looking at your just brief book again recently, and I just the chapters just how to find Sabbath in a day, in an hour, in a week, in a year, in a month. And it's just bringing us back to that restful state where we're not striving. And, you know, when we talk about older home homeschoolers, like old, old school versus newer homeschools, I think that that common thread still is there, that fear that, you know, you're not doing enough, that you are missing something, you have holes in the education. And just as homeschoolers, anyway, feeling that full weight of our decision to home educate our children, there is this unspoken pressure a lot of the times that that focus has to be on the core subjects. You know, it's got to be on the academics. And I love that you just kind of blow that all out of the water with your questions because, yes, that's important, but it is one aspect of home education and it is not, I would say, the most important one, honestly, because if you can't train your children well, it doesn't matter what they know.

Erin [00:31:46]:
If they're not likable people, if they're not good people, then they're not going to keep that job. They're not going to get the job. So that kind of little diversion there. But who should read your book then? Who's this book for? Who's your, your person that you're like this, this mom has to have this book.

Carrie De Francisco [00:32:04]:
I definitely wrote it for moms like yourself who are still in it because we always have those moments, those years, those seasons, those days where we start self doubting ourselves and we think, oh, our kids are not doing enough. And so we revert back to, you know, push, push, push, push, push. And then we burn out. And you know, it's an awful cycle. So may the, the first person is definitely the mom who's already in it, even the experienced mom, because the veteran mom, also the mom who is starting homeschooling for the first time, whether her kid is little. I think it's great for those moms because it will remind them that they've already been homeschooling their kids. Now all they're going to do is do the same activities with just a little bit more intentionality. So I think it's great for them and I also think it's great for the parents who, you know, it's almost like the survival homeschooling where they have to bring them home because maybe there's bullying, there's health issues, there's whatever.

Carrie De Francisco [00:33:16]:
And it's like this, you know, abrupt, we're now homeschooling because they have in their head this is what school should look like. And I think this book will help them deschool there and change their mindset as well so that when they get into it, it will help them give themselves grace but also answer maybe some of their critics and naysayers who are saying, when are you doing the math and when are you doing this? And you know, what's their science fair going to be on this year? And then you start feeling guilty, right? And so I think it's really great for those moms. So I guess to answer your question, anybody who needs to d school and change their mindset from doing homeschooling to home education would really benefit from as you're talking.

Erin [00:34:05]:
That's exactly what I was thinking is just like I was my own biggest obstacle when I started homeschooling because I didn't do school, I thought going straight into the box curriculum with all the boxes checked so that I didn't miss something. And I was so insecure. And it really took years for me to finally say, maybe I don't need to buy the science from this curriculum company. It's not really working for us. Or maybe I don't really like this language arts portion. Let me branch out here. And then I think that's where you start finding your own voice as a homeschool mom to say, you know, what I thought was working wasn't. And then when we start evaluating that maybe the whole thing that we're doing is just not something that we are going to keep doing the way that we've been doing it, because it's not working.

Erin [00:34:48]:
I think this is a great book for that mom, too, who might be like, I'm ready to stop because we're. My kids are fighting with me. I'm fighting with my. My spouse about this. We're just stressed. My husband comes home and I'm just like, here are the kids. You know, like, we have days like that. Quite a few.

Erin [00:35:05]:
So that mom, who's kind of frazzled, I think, could really benefit from taking a step back and looking at those questions that you brought up. And we mentioned a couple of your other books before we close out. I do want to visit what those books are about so that if a mom is like, hey, I really want to check this one out. But you've also got some other great material out there that I don't think should be missed. You want to talk through a little bit about those books, too?

Carrie De Francisco [00:35:27]:
Yes, I would. Thank you. The first one is called Just Breathe and Take a Sip of Coffee. Homeschool Simply and Enjoyably. And what I do is that book is in two sections where the first section is talking about the idea of Sabbath schooling. And like you had originally, you had said earlier about how to incorporate a Sabbath hour in your day, a Sabbath day, a Sabbath week, even maybe a sabbatical year. And the reason why I start with rest in that book is because you truly can't simplify your life and your homeschooling until you rest in the Lord. So once you truly rest in the Lord and you know what that looks like, then you're able to actually step back and simplify.

Carrie De Francisco [00:36:10]:
So then the second half of the book is just practical examples of how you can. What it truly looks like when you simplify your. Your homeschooling. So that's what that one's about. And then the second One came out two years ago that was homeschooling the high school years. And so it's a handbook for Christian education, and it literally is written for all types. So if you're a traditional homeschooler to an unschooler, I've got stuff in there for you. If you are classical, if you are.

Carrie De Francisco [00:36:45]:
If your kid wants to go to college or your kid doesn't know what he wants to do or he wants to go straight to the workforce, I've got you covered in that book. I walk you through all the fears, all the questions, all the standards, all the diplomas, the. The transcript, all the things you have. A homeschool athlete. I got a chapter in there. You got a homeschooler with an IEP or has learning differences. I got stuff in there for you. So it literally, no matter what goals your high schooler has or the kind of homeschooling you do, I really feel like that book will just walk you through it.

Erin [00:37:22]:
Yeah, it truly does. I would plug that book all day long. I just. I mean, I have two graduates already. Neither chose to go the college route. So when people are asking me questions, you know, well, you've homeschooled through high school. What did they do for college? I don't know. But my first year, she does, and here's her book.

Erin [00:37:38]:
It's wonderful. And. And I think that that is a common thing with military or sports scholarships and things like that. Like, you really do cover and you talk about transcripts, which is always another huge administrative task that moms, home and dads have with homeschooling is just what.

Carrie De Francisco [00:37:54]:
Should be on the transcript.

Erin [00:37:56]:
You know, it's just. Don't let that stop you. Grab Carrie's book and you will be fine. So how can moms connect with you and get a copy of your newest book, a home education Handbook?

Carrie De Francisco [00:38:09]:
The easiest way is just to go to my website, coffeewithcarry.org and then that will bring you to everything else. But I do have a podcast called Coffee with Carrie Homeschool drop episodes every Thursday. You can connect with me on Instagram at Coffee with Cariconsulting. For some reason, my cooking chats seem to be a favorite. So if you're on TikTok, I've got those over there where I answer questions and homeschooling questions in three minutes while I'm cooking something that you can cook that night. So. So, yeah, but basically, if you just go to coffee with Carrie.org you can find all that, and my book will be released January 31st and so you could get it at Amazon. And I do believe ChristianBooks.com Sweet.

Erin [00:38:50]:
Well, thank you so much for taking the time to come on our podcast. Carrie Love Carrie can't recommend you and your resources enough for our audience, so we will link everything that you mentioned in our show notes. If you have any questions, then reach out to Carrie or I and I can connect you, too. So thank you so much.

Carrie De Francisco [00:39:10]:
Thank you. It's been fun.

Erin [00:39:11]:
Yeah. All right. We will catch you next time. Thanks for listening.